Bombards-man the Bombadeer

There was once a fantastic sleuth who called himself Bombs Up Today. Bombs Up was a fancy man who could drop a bomb on any house in the frightened Bombing area if Bombs was given an airplane to fly. He liked to fly and he was always found at the Bomber school in the Republic of Tact and Tactless. He was busy in the business and he never let an egg get unattended in life. Bombs was smart and he lived in a luxury suite in his Thorny Forest Enclave. This gave Bombs a good feeling and he loved to pass his love of thorns on to any other person he may have known. One day Bombs was busy capitalizing his own name in a newspaper article when he found a child that had wandered astray into his thorny forest enclave. This distressed Bombs very much and Bombs took her into his home. He wanted to teach her too how to drop bombs and he wanted most assuredly to examine her smile when he dropped a big bomb in the rose garden of his friend's home. So if you meet Bombs Up, just smile and say hello. He probably wont bomb your village but to be honest, he just likes to sit with his parrot on his shoulder and give it happy crackers of smiley face blessings. That is good and he is a fun guy, but be warned. Bomb does like to snicker a bit and if you are not the most important person in his forest, he will indeed ask his parrot to visit you once a year and drop a message on your coat. So thanks, Bombs Up, you are really nifty, but I am going to sit somewhere else in my day. Thanks!