Dumpy McDickie

There was a martian immigrant to the Americas and his name was Dumpy McDickie.  Dumpy played with clown suits and he loved to smell tequila when it was mixed with lime juice and cherry soda.   I thought that Dumpy was a small fellow with a beautiful round set of ears.  I started at a photo of Dumpy that was taken when he visited Niagara Falls in the Summertime.  It was a beautiful photograph and the waterfall was actually glowing in blue and amber colors.  I think that Dumpy was intelligent and even half way a good golf star, but that said I was not so sure that I could depend on Dumpy when the axe I owned became dull and needed a polish and sharpening.  Dumpy was really smart and he played the tuba three times a day.  In fact he was so good that even Charles Daellenbach was impressed.   This was good for Dumpy because dumpy was really dumpy.  He just smelled of clothes pins and cherry rum.  This was ok because he was not a big drinker, but his biochemistry was such that his sugars turned into alcohol sometimes and this made Dumpy smell bad.  I liked his smile and he really reached out to hold my hand when I was falling on my knees one day, but that said, I was really not his best friend and he knew it.  I was ready to run a balloon into his bathroom sink once and he stopped me and told me that I was really trying to flush it down the toilet.  This irked me because I liked playing with balloons in the sink.  I was so annoyed that I soon looked for a feast on the moon in which Dumpy could attend but that on the moon I was going to flush a balloon down a toilet and smile as it passed into the lunar sewer system.  I did not like Dumpy after that common challenge to my manhood and I did not mind when Dumpy passed out at the Bears Game when he was trying to dance on a balcony pole to show the Bears that he was their number one fan.  Dumpy soon became known for his tea parties and no one came except his favorite friend, myself.  I just said hello and left.  It was the polite thing to do and dumpy was grateful.  So that's Dumpy's story.  I miss him as he is no longer alive today. But that said, I just hope that dumpy has stopped emitting that cherry rum smell when he gets to the world to come!  Make me an offer I can not refuse and I'll read a few books to you dumpy.  This is always a good year to come up with aces in your sleeve when you make money on the lottery and it keeps you afloat for the duration of your career.  So thanks Dumpy, I'll shake your hand when I meet you again.  Certainly that waterfall will be your friend in the world to come too, don't you think?