Juan the Sea Clown of Portugal and Beijing

There once was a man named Juan. You'd never know if he was from Beijing or if he was from Portugal. He liked to sail the friendly seas, though he always donned pirates garb and liked to dance in a turban that he bought in a second hand store in Istanbul. Juan was always on television and he was once on NPR as well. Juan was interesting, but he never made much dialogue that was worth reading, listening to or smiling. Juan worked hard and he earned his place in the sun. But that said, Juan carried a personal vendetta. One day Juan dropped the anchor into a bed of clams and it got stuck there for three years. The boat he was on could not move. Juan was asked never to return and to get a new job if he wanted to keep sailing. This irked Juan because even though he knew that the bed of clams was on the sea bed, he claimed it was ok because Clams had no spirit and that they really were not a threat to the boat and crew. He was clearly wrong and he even knew that before he threw the anchor overboard. So if you meet Juan, don't mention the clams. And don't mention that his tie is paisley and smells like oysters too. Juan is a fine guy, but I don't think that the NPR station is going to go underwater without him. Thanks!