Clickity Clack the Linebacker

There exists a fellow named Freddy Flack and he was a quick draw in the shoot em up games of life. Fred was short and simple and he always wore his prized cannon gun that he liked to touch when he woke from sleep, when he took the phone off the hook and when he opened his mail that came from the post office.
Clickity Clack went the gun and Fred was marveled by its weight.
So one day Fred tried out for the national football team. He was short, but that didn't stop him. He weighed four hundred pounds and found that he could block all of the people who tried to oppose him on the football field. Good news for Fred, he entered the Draft and became an NFL Linebacker. It was the life he never thought he would have had, but that considered, he knew he would do just well at the job.
So Fred blocked all of the three hundred pound players and got himself a hall of fame entry in just two years time.
That was an achievement and Fred knew that it was a good plan to be strong and courageous.
Soon Fred realized that his gun was a neat gun and that it might need other guns to keep it company. He bought a new gun each day after he was sufficiently funded, but that was not enough. He soon wanted a real cannon for his front yard. Fortunately our friend, Fred found a good cannon from an old civil war battle ship and he soon was in business.
Each morning at four am, Fred went out and lit up the cannon and fired a cannon ball into the neighbor's front yard. They actually did not mind as they liked the divots it made in their grass and their garden. This was interesting as no one else in the neighborhood had divots and the divots were easy to repair and made for nice firm soil for the cacti that they liked to plant later.
So Fred the Linebacker was in good spirits and good health and he had a nice job to achieve his dreams that he must indeed command from himself on the battlefield of life.
That was all good and fine, but along came another Linebacker one day and this one actually weighed six hundred and fifty pounds. This new linebacker named Moe was smart and shocked Fred. Moe danced a nice dance too when he leveled the other players. Moe was smart and instead of carrying a gun, Moe carried a big stick. Moe was intelligent and he liked to chip away at trees and make more sticks. He offered Fred a stick once and Fred refused to take it. Fred rationed that he might lose his gun if he had a stick so that was definitely not a good plan.
So if you meet our Friend Fredrick with the cannon and gun collection, please remind him that his friend Moe really is not going to make the football hall of fame. Moe just does not move as fast on the battle ground. He can level a player much quicker, but Fred will always have the advantage of agility when it comes to the battleground of life. Just as long as Fred doesn't offer Moe a gun, all will be ok and Moe will keep playing and really just wants to help Fred look good too.
Thanks Fred, we will look for you after halftime someday!