Crack Me the Empire Eater

There was once a man named Crack Me.  He was open to all suggestions but concerned about none.  He fixed axes with his teeth and he smiled like a clown at the frisbee that children threw in his basement once a year or twice a day.  It was a sketchy way to live, but Crack Me was truly awesome.  The towns people all looked carefully at his beautiful Xray device that he owned and proudly displayed in his automobiles window every Friday night when he drove to synagogue in his clean blue suit that was pressed each Friday morning by a woman that had a gown on that smelled like candy bars and chocolate sprays.   I miss his beautiful automobile but sadly he had to sell it because he really liked to play with marbles and he did not have any where near enough to keep himself happy.  Crack Me bought so many marbles that his entire first and second floor of his home was completely filled with marbles. In fact, Crack Me lived in the basement of his home and he really did not go out except to go to synagogue on Friday night.  I miss Crack Me because I stopped going to the synagogue he goes to due to the fact that they all like to drive on Friday night and I decided that I didn't feel I could share a seat with such unsavory persons who did not keep the Sabbath Laws.  So thats the end of this story.  Crack Me Cracked up one day but it was all fine and dandy.  His marbles are all still in his house but not his house is on the market and noone wants it either.  Thanks.