Ticky Ticky Beanstalk Planter

There was once a man named Ticky and he was a beanstalk planter.  All day long, Ticky would run around and plant these big beans in the wet ground and watch as they instantly sprung up into the skies and past the clouds and into the stratosphere into a new world that he had only imagine existed.  Ticky Ticky was a smart Jewish fellow and he really enjoy his tea in the afternoon.  Ticky never had an enemy that he ever spoke with again.  But if he did he would be sure that the enemy was really only there so that the enemy might hear what Ticky had to tell the world.  Ticky could live this way.  Enemy or no, he had alot to say.  Ticky could talk talk talk and really get somewhere once in a while.  In fact, he belived that God loved him so much because he knew alot about the stories in the Torah and he kept all the customs and laws that he knew.  This was a great idea, if you follow the law and make sacrifices and give to charity, Ticky knew that he would be very high indeed when all was said and accounted for in life.  I know ticky loved himself, but I am not sure if Ticky loved the rest of the people the same as he loved himself but that is nothing about which to worry.  I enjoyed knowing Ticky, but it was clear that I was indeed Tickys worst enemy.  I spoke of beer and mushrooms and Ticky only wanted to grow his beanstalks.  Ticky never spoke about beer and he hated mushrooms and he never even had tasted one ever in his lifetime.  Ticky was always looking for what could benefit his mind the most so when I told him about beer, he just angered himself telling me that his beanstalks really did the trick and that beanstalk planting was by far the most mind numbing experience ever created.  No other way would suffice or be necessary.  I liked his zeal and I really did in fact have a special place in my house to keep Ticky's gifts in my life.   Ticky was a rich man.  Ticky was a really special leader.  He spoke with the mastery of a giraffe reaching for the highest leafs on the tree. But what Ticky did not realize was that God was not very thrilled with the way that Ticky refused beer and that Ticky never even tasted a mushroom. God had regarded these to be among his most special creations and Ticky was never to enjoy life as God had created it to be lived. Ticky was really good at the beanstalk profession of making a tree that climbs to the clouds and beyond, but even that was a failure as Ticky had never thought to climb the bean stalk.
The top of the beanstalk lead to a garden.  The garden was filled with beer from beautiful springs and there were mushroom pudding for any person that was as sweet as honey and smelled like jam.   May the memory of Ticky be for a lesson to those who dont eat the blessings that they are afforded by the simple folks who just did not discover the pleasure of planing a beanstalk all the days of their lives.