Eggroll McCool

There once was a fellow named Eggroll McCool. Eggroll could think of nothing except pork fried rice and eggrolls all of the days of his existence.  He was named by a french pastry chef who wanted to give him a unique name.  This Chef was his step father.  I do believe that Eggroll was influenced not by his name, however, but by his appetite. For Eggroll, he was a smart fellow who existed on poetry and peanut butter sandwiches.  He once read a poem about pork fried rice but never knew where to find any.  He spend ten years thinking of this dish and he never knew any person who had heard of such a delicacy.  One day Eggroll decided to take matters into his own hands.   He found this mysterious pig that the poems described and he slaughtered it into many little bits of pork meat.  He found some rice and added some soy sauce.  He cooked it all together and then he sat down to have a nice meal.  But there was one catch,  Eggroll was a fellow Jewish son of a Jewish Farmer who only breeded sheep.  Eggroll was impressed by the sheep but never had eaten one becuase he fell in love with its silky coat and he never wanted to be responsible for slaughtering any animal that might make such a fine wool.  So eggroll found himself this animal named the pig that he only saw in books.  Eggroll lived on a large island that no pig had ever set foot upon.  It was true that there were laws saying you should not eat from a pig, but Eggroll did not know the reason for the law.  So eggroll just decided one day to look for this mysterious pig that he did find, but to eggrolls surprise, the pig was really just a pink sheep that had pink wool, a genetic variant.  Eggroll prepared his dinner and ate heartily and realized that it was the tastiest treat he had ever enjoyed.  I think eggroll was disapointed however, because he never did see another pig in his entire life.   He told many people the story and noone believed him.  The fact that he enjoyed rice so much was exciting for him and for the rest of his days, Eggroll remembered the wonderful Lamb stew that he finally ate, once and never again.