Cocktail the Pirate Kicker

There once was a man named Cocktail and he drank Pina Coladas.  He worked for the bank and one day he went to Las Vegas.  He was mesmerized by the Pirate Display outside one of the casinos and watched as the pirates went about their daily routine and even as the ship sank into the water.   This was amazing.  He had never seen such a show and never imagined that the world could have such fine entertainment.  So he went into the casino, ordered three Pina Coladas and went out to share them with two of the pirates.  This was a smart move he considered because if he could consort with an actor, he was cool through and through.
That was smart of course, but sadly the pirates were forbidden to drink on the job.  So Coctail whose real name was Paul the Great General told the pirate to stop working and leave the job.  The pirate refused and Paul kicked him swiftly in the head and the gut section.  This was not very smart, but the Pina Coladas made the pirate feel better.   So guess what?  The day ended and the pirates still did their show.  It was ok. Paul only kicked them with slippers on his feet.  And they didn't see it coming and no one knew he kicked them either.  It was as if an invisible foot reached out and kicked the pirate.  But that's ok.  The pirate was not in too much pain over all and his day was not really ruined.  And that Pina Colada that was frozen actually sort of felt good on his face.   But that was a nasty day and Paul never watched the Pirates very much in the future.  It was good to know Paul in life.  He was a Great General and lead a section of Bassoon players into the End Zone of a Football Stadium in the Biloxi Rose Garden in Mississippi.  It was ok with me that Paul was a real live General.  He commanded the troops into battle and they liked that he did not smoke a pipe or a cigar or even a cigarette of course.  Paul was slightly an opera fan, but he never went to see the best operas as he really just liked to watch the pirates do their jazz.
Thanks for your mind of life about eating Filet Mignon Paul.  Its good to be a General and when I command my troops, I'll just think of General Patton instead.