A beautiful Collection...

http://www.vosizneias.com/97360/2011/12/21/brooklyn-ny-first-time-ever-exclusive-footage-one-thousand-dreidels-and-still-going-strong

Distance from the Silouette

Once upon a time
In a galaxy far away
Stood a gerbil with a hammer
And his name was bif the rodent
And bif walked alone
And bif holed up in a hole
And bif never saw his shadow again

To the bum at the Lake

I once met you
And you howled into the starlight
A tune of effervescence
At the light of the
Midnight
Tuck yourself in
And find yourself a doorway
There is a bum by the lakeside
And he holds the cards of the war
That he worried about your credential
And you worried about his stench
And you walked far far far away
From the bum by the lake.

Christmas time for Newt

Christmas time for Newt
The tinsel is on the tree
The angel is atop
Waiting for you to step on some kids knee
The fact is clear
You are hardly near
The defeat of the GOP will ensue
If we are voting for you know who
And of course to say
Merry Christmas to all
I will shovel my snow in peace
As I refresh my life of greed
And own the foolish poor
And That is always in store
For their children will clean the commode
And to Newt Nothing will be owed
And we can all sleep at night
With Newt on the can
And noone worrying in Iran
And Tomorrow is a good day
So good night to all
And a Silent Happy Grey

A Rhyme to Mr. Trump:

Donald you are cool
I realize you are noones fool
So get on that television
And tell us your own perfect vision
Of a death star above
And a moat in the stars
And of course
There will be more people
Like you
On Mars.

Rune to the Breaker of Toys

Thou has a mind
And thou has a soul
And I have a toy
That serves me well
And when you are here
I will always be smiling inside
For you can run and you can hide
But yet there is a Friend
Who knows my hope and my dream

I will put together what it is
That does not seem
To be repairable by law
But fixed with trust
And thus I must
Exhude a compliance
To the words that are written
In a book that is given
So that I may live with dignity
And the forces that break the toys
Are lost to the futures blessings

Ode to Individuality

To the arrogant
Who stay the shorline
Between my own day
And my own time
I ask that you realize
That G-d made us all so
So that you are you and I am me
And I will live to be myself.

Fixing the fishbowl

To a good day
Suffice to say
There was once a bowl of fish
That I kept on my bedroom window sill
And to that time
I was quite a friend of all
So that none could say
That the dignity was up for sale
But sadly in fact
A once mistake made a crack
And thus the bowl did leak
And sadly I lost a few glances
Yet today I hope that the bowl is fixed
As I have sent more trust to the ocean
That fills my bowl with fish
As was always to be my own good wish
So if you notice that there is a crack in the bowl
Let is be tampered with a healthier light
That shines from G-d above
And helps to heal my own memorial of dignity
That once was cracked
In efforts to live
By the way of the biggest fish

Ode to the quest for cow

To all the pirates among
I have now sung your song
There is much to plunder and stay
And yet who is it that you pay to play?
I bet that you have found your sun
In the montage of your run
So be that you love to gain
And I love to remain
So be it that today I will bend my hand
As you must avow you have no promised land
And yours comes from mine
And trust is lost to the vine
So that I will see a new day
When you no longer will play
And I guess thats how it goes
In this pirate filled society
That today we just twist away
And today we must align
With a trust of being genuine
Yet what of those ahead
With the pirates garb on their head
Do they love us or leave us
As they build their ships
And sail the open seas
Of the human race
That today is less than their pace
And such a five year old must learn
That tomorrow his mind will burn
And cry for the promised land
It will never be seen quite again
So be good today if you can
And dont steal from the babies that smile
And hold your walk for a while
And thus perhaps tomorrow
That when you must swim
The tide will come in
And you will have plenty
For your needs of every
So that when you have pain
The thoughs of friends remain
And thus you have enjoyed
A life of happiness and good
And the pain of the end
Is less than the suffusion of the mend
And of course there is bread
And you will be well fed
So give back to the children
What you have taken in confusion
And yet there will be merit
In the choice of gaining more credit
That you must enjoy
As you are no longer a boy
And today you can live a good life
So find yourself a good wife
And lay down in the goodness of your own home
And stay not on the seas of sole monetary gain
So that in the end you will remain
A soul with no blame
And dying will be a passing
Which you should be assured
Will not be lost on the few
And not forgotten in true
So that when its your time to go
There is less we will still know
Of your quest to get the cow
And build your own meow
So good day I say to you
And be good tomorrow too.
Treat the seas as your friend
And be mindful again
That this is a world of plenty
And it can all be yours if you sail just and right

Ode to being five

Oh a memory now
Of a day when I was young
A time of compassion
And of course there was the sun
There was no hate and war
And there was no strife and poor
Too much was said to be good
What a breach that life has took
So much that I have learned
And seen in all my days
What I did not know or hear about
What I did not see or experience
What little I understood of today and tomorrow
And what little I might think
That this planet I now touch and play
Is the future of the breach of good and stay

Ballad to my Facebook Friends

To the facebook posters I have now known
You have almost certainly grown
In the day that you write so well
I will certainly be glad to tell
That today is a fun time
To read between the lines
And realize that some of you are
Smart, yet a few of you are not.
And thus I rehearse for my
Next assignment
As a blogger of merit
And with that I go
To the fresh places of selling
The internet to the stranger
On twitter alas
That today I will
Find more to read
Than the same enema of a burden
That I get when I open my facebook account
And read that the same things keep being shouted
By the same general folks
Who if you learn to climb the ropes
Will show you the way
Though they seem quite less gay
That today I dwell in internet mire
That you did not choose to say anything
Intelligent over the wire
And tomorrow I will wait for more
So that time is more consumed
And thus I write
For the children of the night
That today there is more to say
And I hope that you do not go away
So thus ends the ballad to my friends online
I hope you really are genuine
I fish for fun things you write
And when you can delight
Some say its bliss
I say its like a kiss
And thus I remain
Online for a frame
And thus the Facebookers smile
And I will be hungry less a while
And tomorrow I'll post a note
And hope that another will tote
My thoughts of the day
And few will ever say
That sunshine did not shine
On the internets new design

An Oade to Rabbis who Twitter

Dear My Heavens sake of Light
There is a new kind of tight
A man so fine that he is so genuine
And he brings me my wisdom by sight
Thus the rabbi of the twitter age is born
It is he whom I seek to not ever reform
I hope that he continues his quest
To allow Israel to look at its best
And to twitter I say that
What I write can be hey
And when I type I will sound like the frey
But really its all just blessings of gay
So lets be frank and upright
And let the Jewish Leaders find their light
So that tomorrow when I daven
I will be ever so smitten with more sovereign
Intelligence that only befinds
A place in the heavens or the sky
But now you can find it online
In the twitter feed that
Sounds so genuine

The story of the goats and ducks

Once upon a time, there was a farm in the everglades of the national forest of America.
The forest was a busy place and it had all sorts of children and also many leprechauns and unicorns.  I liked the unicorns when I saw them dance in the forest, but the leprechauns were ugly and wore t-shirts that said "skyline".

The leprechauns would dance in the forest to the songs of the mice and elephants. 
It was a beautiful day and of course the mice and elephants were singing.

The leprechauns danced their bit and of course there was always a pen for the goats as well as a pond for the ducks.

The problem was however that the goats and the ducks did not always enjoy one anothers company.
The goats would live on the seeds from the buckets that the farmer would put out each morning and the ducks were also given seeds from a different bucket. 

Unfortunately the goats would finish their seed and then go and eat the seed of the ducks also.
This usually was ok because the ducks really did not eat their seed very fast.
But eventually there were times that the ducks simply did not have enough to feed on in the morning.  They would have to wait until the evening for the farmer to come and bring them more seed.

The goats were feeling ok because the ducks were always out swimming and having a good time.  The goats on the other hand might only be able to wash their beards and tails in the stream.  This bothered the goats because they saw that the ducks would be able to swim and splash in the water.
The goats unfortunately were limited to the play pens that they were given.  There was no floating and there was no quacking either.
It was ugly in the everglades farm that was nestled in the forest. 
Along came an idea. 
Issues arose in the forest and the sale of unicorn treats was limited.  This was not a concern for the goats and the ducks did not even know that there were unicorns on the farm since they were in a place far from the pond. 
Solutions to the unicorn treat shortage came from the farmer who decided to mold some seeds for the ducks and goats into unicorn treats.   
When the goats saw that the unicorns were eating the seed, they got scared.  They decided that if the farmer could feed the ducks and the unicorns, there might not be much more seed for the goats to enjoy.  And the real problem was that the ducks were really living on the last of the seed and that the ducks would have been the first to look for more seed.
So if you are a goat, thank your lucky stars that you continue to get fed.  Because the real story is that the farmer really likes his duck pond.  The farmer might just build a fence that will keep you from eating the ducks feed as he now might have to cut back on the seed that he gives out. 

Six Fields of Safety

Saving the utilty.
Financing a better plan
A world exhumes greatness
When it is for the common man

Once I took a picture
Of a child in the street
He was cold and grey and empty
And was his duty too great?

Silence in a rustic shelter
A nickel on the stairs
With hope there will be plentitude
For that the children stare

So build up a new community
And label it with trust and favor
With all good hope it will exist
And nothing for us to not savor

The apples come in the springtime
And the oranges grow on trees to gold
With silence there is good safety
In the world that Moses built

So love for ten more years
And give to those who feel some pain
And exist to name your children
After those who trust remains

Orchestras of plenty
And solutions of decency and respect
Order todays multitude
To work and pay their rent

Silence before the storm
Was the warning to the cherry blossoms that play in democracy
A child will be born tomorrow of the rags that we give him
And tomorrow justice can show peace the way

Thanksgiving Day Football Poem

Kickoff to Dallas
Another three yards ahead
Pass to Detroit
The snow is really still light
But tomorrow is Black Friday
And I will break my piggy bank
To get that special someone
Something that really is
Just simply fun frivolity
So that I get a nice kiss
When I deserve it most
Happy Thanksgiving.

Turkey Day Poem

Grace and Love
And dignity above
We offer to our LORD
Blessings that are assured
With the gravy and the yams
I can open up my hand
And thus tomorrow for all
There will be leftovers to call
And thus another year flies by
As we all look to the sky
And know that tomorrow
The snow will be afallen again.

Love Genuine

In the distance sings a melody
A rapture of the most explicit kind
A dog watches slowly as the outhouse is vacated
Such is the answer of a poverty stricken soul

Thus I beg and Thus I crave
And thus I walk
And thus I strain
But today I steel
For the heart is not mine
And I wait for the gorgeous answer
Of my love genuine.

Supplant my knowledge with wisdom
And enter my heart with a trawel
I ask that you answer my prayer
With a love genuine

So today is a good day
And tomorrow a new day
And if you want to stay home
I will love you all day

But be good to me today
For tomorrow I will stay far
For tomorrow I seek out
The answer to the fact
That today I miss
That love Genuine
That was there for me today
But not for the sleet of the rain in my eyes.

Ode to Sleeplessness

Sleep come when you will
I will await thee with a thrill!
I slept once with the drugs
Yet now I work to halt my pain and suffering
How does it be
That sleep only comes at its own pace
So that I must stay up
And try to erase
The smiley faces I made
All day long
From upon my face
As I await slumber
With a high priority
And thus laugh at the
Chagrin that tells me to
Swim

They called me buddy....

They called me buddy; it went out to my ears...
I was there for their friendship or fraternity and they wished me to be their confederate.
I was not amiss.
It was not a strong bond. 

They called me buddy.
I was like their dog perhaps.
I was there for their amusement,
But friendship or fraternity it was not to really be.

So if you want a buddy, find yourself a cat.

Veterans Day Poem

Toledo in the day of God

A saying is just that
One must indeed
Find his way
In the world at large
But what of the soldier
Whose stay may be short
Did he walk alone
Or was there another
Holding his arm
And guiding him into
The fray that
He will win
When all things
Are taken
At the
Fall of a tree
And the stop of
A heart beat
With the arms of the soldier
We can all be safe.

Dinner with Occupy Wall Street

I said I would pay the rent
But then I asked for a Tent
So what do I occupy
When I ask for a coin
From the man on the corner
Who worked at Geico
Queequag tucks me in tonight.

Ode to getting a Dental Implant

Oh what a relief of youth
To buy yourself a new tooth

Fortune Cookie on the Moon

Goons in space
It is busy in the human race

Turnips in Scholarship land

Igloos are good
If you like to touch your shoe
A big toad calls a weasel a friend
And I latched the key to the wayzy school

Buy German Cars in Mars

Simon says buy dice at the park.
And when you act like a lark.
Put your cap on and walip your mowce
If it stops moving its lost.
Buy German Cars
If you want to live on Mars.
Sowwitall. 

Tyke Toons 5 is here!

Tyke Toons 5 is here.
A little bit shorter than the others, this is likely the final of the series.
67 pages.
https://www.createspace.com/3663996



Priscilla Matilda

I have a buddy named Priscilla.  She works for the bank and she also delivers the mail on the weekends once a month or so.    I called Priscilla one day and asked her if she might visit my children one day when I was not going to be home.  I knew that she was very busy, but I thought she might enjoy the experience.   Sadly, Priscilla never got back in touch with me.  That is ok I guess, but sadly, I will never know if it was because she was just too busy or if she really just did not like me very much.  But that said, I am sure Priscilla is doing quite well.  I have heard that she likes to read books about crime and that she likes to visit the ballet once a week or more.  If I had Priscilla's schedule, I am not sure what I might do, but that said, I always knew that she could put her books down once in a while and that she really does not need to visit the ballet twice or more a week either.  But that said, I think that Priscilla is just going through another phase in life and I wonder if she will be my friend someday in the time coming.  Be good Priscilla, we are all thinking of you once in a while!

Stone Face Cold Fist Lay Man From Caracas

There is a man named Neil who is a stone faced man with a cold fist.  He works hard and likes to live very well with all of the luxuries that man can find in life.  Neil works for the government and builds torpedoes for nuclear submarines.  The thing is however, Neils benevolent wife insists that he never make a weapon of war ever.  So when he goes home, he tells his wife that he builds projectiles for the displacement of water.  This seems to go over well.  But what will his wife say one day when the CIA sends him his certificate of kills in the mail.  I am just curious.  Neil is a bright guy, but surely the truth will catch up.  Thats all I have to say today.

Blue Beard the Can Opener

There once was a man by the name of Blue Beard and he was a pirate extraordinaire.  Blue Beard peered into all of the ship's portholes and he knew what was going on in each of the ship's quarters at all times he walked the deck.  Blue Beard was a busy and scrupulous fellow and he liked to play with his musket in the broad daylight.  This was his favorite hobby and he really neglected to shine the cannons or keep the rest of the ship in ship shape.  So if you do see Blue Beard the Sailor, remember that he only has 2 bullets to fire in his musket and that if you send him a telegram, he will shoot the first or even second through the telegram.  But rest assured that he can never shoot the musket in your direction as poor Blue Beard has lost both of his arms and he has to use his wooden appendages to hold that musket and they can not extend out from his body at all.
Poor Blue Beard.   Poor Piracy on the high seas.  Poor wooden arms! 

Nuzzie Revisited

There once was a woman named Riley and she liked to cook and clean and do all the domestic related things that make for a beautiful house. One day she decided she could no longer clean the bird cage in her husband's study. That was ok because her husband really should have been the one to do all the cleaning.  But that was not enough.  Nuzzie as she was well known took the bird and let it go only to realize that the bird would not leave the house and now it removed its waste freely throughout Nuzzie's house.  Nuzzie was not to be laughed at though and instead of catching the bird and putting it back in its cage, Nuzzie opened all of the windows and thought that this bird would find its way out of the house.  Instead, poor Nuzzie was astonished that rather than the bird leaving, a number of new birds took up in her house and flew in her open windows.  They did their duty all throughout her living room and kitchen and all throughout the house. Sadly it became evident that poor Nuzzie would have to leave the house.  And leave she did.   We have not seen Riley in a good while, but rest assured, she has found a new home next to the zoo and that all her windows are always shut and she has no more birds in her house.  Her husband is a nice guy but sadly his study was destroyed and he never picked up another book.  Best wishes, Nuzzie.  We really liked your bird that you once had but I am sure that it is quite happy with all the other birds that have taken over your beloved first home!  Waiting to see you when I visit the zoo though! 

King Faizul of the Other Planet

Once upon a time, I met a real king. He had a scepter and he had a robe. What sadly he did not have was his crown. This king named King Faizul was actually Jewish in his beliefs but he carried himself like those in the Middle East under the rule of the Arabic Peoples. King Faizul called for hit entertainment and it came. He called for his soldiers and they appeared. Once he called for his jester, but the jester did not come. So in retaliation, King Faizul asked for a price to be on the Jester's head. Sadly the Jester who was really a king in the waiting just ignored King Faizul and lived a happy life. But that said, I do not know if King Faizul ever was crowned. I suspect that he just walked into the treasury and took up a big chalice and started to drink. So if I am ever in his court again, rest assured that I will not be able to bow in respect for this fine king. He just is not really crowned and that means he really is not that much of royalty either. But if the King wishes to have his javelin fest and his sheep herding ceremony, I may make a visit to his court. That said, he is not the King that I choose for my own Beneficence. That is my real King and this king Faizul is really just a trombone player that made it big in the wardrobe industry. Best wishes, Faizul. We are all trombone players today!

Packy Picky

There is a fellow named Packy and he is a very picky eater.  Packy only eats brussel sprouts if there is a vegetable and he only eats pears if it is a fruit.   Packy likes to eat lobster and he will also eat ostrich but he hates meats such as beef and other poultry.   I liked Packy when we met.  Packy was a busy star and he worked in the shoe selling business.  But that is just half of it. Packy liked to steal birds eggs from their nests and sadly he might even do it with the mother bird present.  Packy was sure that he was the candidate of the future and he soon ran for an elected office of civil engineer of the county.  I thought he would win, but sadly he did not win.   He later took his office elsewhere and decided that he would become a farmer for the state.  That actually worked well for him.  But sadly, Packy opened a letter one day and it was a summons for a court appearance.  I have never heard what the appearance was about nor have I heard from Packy to know how the appearance has gone, but sadly I must admit I never heard from Packy again after he got that letter.  If you ever find Packy, please correspond with me and let me know how he is doing.  I just hope that he did not end up in jail or somewhere else undesirable. 

Dog Catcher of the Third Kind

I have a friend named Juni-ar and he is a dog catcher.  He works all day and all night and hunts down dogs and even cats from the lost paths they find themselves upon.  Juni-ar is a busy fellow and he likes his work, but sadly, Juni-ar is not quite with the times.  Juni-ar has a chocolate bunny from 1954 that he still carries in his breifcase.  He also has a candy cane from 1986 that still hangs on his kitchen table's centerpiece.  I thought that Juni-ar was very smart when I first met him in 1991, but that was just a facade.  Juni-ar likes to show off his big squirt gun and by doing so many people think that he is a very astute child.  I thought that he was a smart cartoon writer though.  One day Juni-ar wrote a cartoon about feeding the bears that was actually quite funny. Too bad, however, he has not been able to write any other cartoon quite like that first one.  But that said, there is still hope for Juni-ar.  He sees a priest for his ritual needs in life and he asks for atonement once a month from an elephant trainer who is versed in the priestly blessings.   But that is not the end of it yet.  Juni-ar is a baseball player who likes to stare at the ladies when they visit his field.  This is always his preference though he is yet to find one that sends him a cheering section in his name.   I did like Juni-ar but Juni-ar did not seem to like me in the long run.  Juni-ar is writing his memoirs today and he has described me as "gruff and excitable".  That may be but only because I tried to take his candy cane and smash the clearly inedible chocolate bunny with the candy cane once.  I did apologize but sadly, Juni-ar did not accept this even though I was clearly willing to buy him a box filled with both candy canes and new chocolate bunnies that would be clearly edible and I was going to supply him with a few every year to come. 
Thanks for being my friend once upon a time, Juni-ar.  I miss you a bit, but I really worry that you are spending too much time with that priest!  Best Regards!

Apple Sauce Licker Steven

I have a friend named Steven. Steven is really a fun guy to get to know. He actually will lick the bowl of his apple sauce that his mother serves for his Christmas Celebration. Glenn Beck thinks that Steven is weird, but I have to tell you that he and Glenn would exist in time and space in the same baseball diamond and never realize that they were both fraternal brothers. Both of them were alcoholics and both of them were really amazed what they could do with Chalkboards. Steven runs a class that he uses a chalkboard to explain to children how to make apple sauce from apples. Glenn Beck explains to the citizens of the United States how the bad people really are bad and how the future is a place for only good people that we must ensure will always out number the bad people. When Glenn Beck has lunch, Steven eats an apple. When Glenn Beck dances with his family, Steven puts an apple on a teachers desk at the school. When Glenn Beck watches cable television, Steven works in his backyard picking dandelions. Steven and Glenn Beck do exactly the same activity each time the other does another activity and they seem to mirror one another in their timing and their consistency to tasks. When Steven farts, Glenn Beck talks about the Marxists. When Glenn Beck talks about the Communists, Steven uses the rest room. When Glenn Beck shows a photograph of Adolf Hitler (yemach shemo), Steven lights a cob of corn on fire. Steven even looks like Glenn Beck from a medical perspective. They both have the same height and weight and they both can run and compete physically at the exact same level. I think that This is a funny story, but the truth is that Glenn Beck and Steven are one in the same just in alternative universes. So if you meet Steven, just nod and say hello. Glenn Beck wont admit that Steven secretly makes Glenn smile, but that is just because Glenn just does not want to share the stage with a fellow that might in fact be his brother from another time and year. Steven, if you are out there, those apples look mighty good, but you really have to stop licking that bowl and just ask for seconds! Thanks Glenn, you showed us the way for a good while. Sadly I must admit I rarely watched except for about 3-4 minutes at a time and I really did not think that the Blackboard ever really made the most sense to me. I just have to say that for a fellow who is a recovering Alcoholic, you are an inspiration to the idea that a man can indeed eat his apple sauce, lick the bowl in life and then come out smelling like a nice but seriously exaggerated guy in life.

Cotton Mouth Tea Drinking Lucy

I have a friend named Lucy. She likes to drink the most sophisticated of teas and she sadly suffers from a cotton mouth which is caused by sadly an inability to salivate well. The tea keeps her mouth wet and I think she is a star among stars. If anyone does see Lucy, I am waiting to get a telegram from her from her trip to China. I heard she can get all the tea she wants and then she might even visit England and have high tea with the Queen! Best Wishes Lucy, I never forgot to remember you from all the days we once were friends so many years gone by!

Dani Happiness

I have a friend named Dani. She is a bank teller at the Star Struck Savings and Loans. She likes to read books by Danielle Steele and she organizes raffles at her powder sharing social meetings. I did not really enjoy all of Dani's powder products but I am told that some people really find them to be useful in life. But that said, Dani is a funny and nice person and we all really enjoy seeing her powder her face once a day. If Dani wants to powder more than once a day, please don't make me watch her do that. I just need one powder viewing a day and any more is just excessive. But that said, I wish Dani all the best. She is a funny person and I really don't mind the investment corner of her bank that was formed for nice guys just like myself to invest my money in the business of lost stars that never will have the same talents in the future but still make us smile when we visit with them at the land of Happiness and Funny Blameless endings. Thanks!

Sean Hamrod

I have a remarkable friend and his name is Sean.  Sean works for the military industry and he builds airplanes that can bomb long range targets.  Sean is a very straight American and he loves to eat ham and Eggs in the morning.  This is always Sean’s favorite meal and he eats the Eggs sunny side up as well as Cured with Steak Sauce.  Sean is a very smart fellow and he writes novels about Big Foot too.  Big Foot has always been his obsession.  Sean worked for Fox News once and ran coffees back and forth to Mr. O'reilly.  But that job did not seem to keep Sean's true interest so one day he asked Mr. O'reilly to bring him, Sean a bottle of steak sauce for his mid-day meal.   Mr. O'reilly thought it was funny and Sean shortly asked Mr. O'reilly for a big steak to eat for dinner too.  Mr. O'reilly did not really like giving out handouts so Sean was asked to quit his big job working for Mr. O'reilly which really did not make Sean that happy anyhow.  But that said, Sean is still working for the Military and today he built a bomber that had steak sauce in its nose turret.  But that is still not Sean's greatest feat.  Sean was most well known as a stunt double for Sean Hannity of the Fox News Station.  In fact Sean was such a good stunt double that if Sean Hamrod talked about liberals as if they were also freaks and dogmeat, Sean Hannity sent Sean a Free steak.  But that is not the end of the story.  Sean Hamrod and Sean Hannity are but one in the same, right?  They are stunt doubles for one another and if Sean Hannity wanted to work as Sean Hamrod did in the military, no one would think the difference.   I saw Sean Hannity one day on the news and he talked about how much he really did not hang with those "liberals".  Sean Hamrod built a new nose cone for an airplane.  Sean Hannity built a $10,000 dog house for his Chihuahua in his back yard.  Sean Hamrod ate a lobster dinner.  Sean Hannity sold his 5000 shares of Apple Stock.  Sean Hamrod went fishing with his dog.  Sean Hannity asked for more people to support the GOP.  Sean Hamrod worked a double shift at the aircraft factory. 
So you can see that these two individuals are intricately tied to one another.  Sean Hannity has bagels in the morning for breakfast and Sean Hamrod eats shrimp for dinner.  Sean Hannity goes to Bermuda and plays Canasta on the Hotel's Pool Terrace.  What do you think that Sean Hamrod did?
But that's ok.   We really have a lot of Sean Hannity’s running around today and they all "hate" the 'god awful' left of center human beings that populate society at such a large level.  So if you meet Sean Hamrod, just tell him he really looks a lot like Hannity and if you do have dinner with Hannity, don't bring up Mr. Hamrod.  They are really one in the same.  

Rusty of The First Base Collection

I have a new friend named Rusty and I met him while I was playing Baseball Last week. Rusty was born and his birth certificate actually said his name is Robert. Rusty likes his name and he was always a neat baseball player. I saw Rusty hit home runs every time he got to bat.
I do have another friend named Russ who does not like to be Called Rusty today. But this guy named Russ is a neat fellow and if he doesn't want to be called Rusty, I will always refer to him as Russ unless I might make the old time neural connection and slip out the name Rusty sometime. But that's ok. Rustys can hit home runs and if you don't want to be called Rusty and want to be called Russ, that's ok with me. Batter UP!

Field mouse Garrett

Dear Garrett,
I am here in the Scuba Diving Convention and I wanted to tell you that you sent me a very nice scuba diving knife to use on my dives. It was nice to get your gift in the mail and I will always feel safer under the ocean's surface.
Thank you Sincerely,
Craig the Barracuda Bait

Carrot Head Sally

Dear Sally,
I sent you some photographs of my friends this week. I hope that you are not too unhappy. It was a busy decade and we had a lot of fun. Are you still dancing in that carrot convention on Planet Mars? I remember when you wore a carrot head dress and you looked very very very funny. I am ready to see your carrot head again if you want to send me a photograph of your carrot head convention. Thanks for the ginger snaps you send last year!
Sincerely yours,
Carrot eating Craig

Pterodactyl June

I have a lady friend named June. She collects pterodactyl statues and plastic models. June is funny and happy, but sadly I must tell you that June's pterodactyl collection has gone to war with her doll collection. So if you meet June one day, please refrain from giving her another pterodactyl. She really liked those Dolls a lot!

Lava Lamp Dancing Cindy

I have a friend named Cindy and she loves to dance around the Lava Lamp. The lamp turns colors and each color makes her dance a completely different dance. In the Blue light she thrashes her arms and lifts her legs. In the red light she likes to sway her head back and forth and she likes to swing her arms in circles. I can not tell you the dance she does when the Lava Lamp light goes pink. It is really not rated for this audience. Thanks.

Sterile Rumplestiltskin

There is a man named Rumplestiltskin and he is sadly unable to have children. He tried numerous times and then when he went to the doctor, the doctor sadly reported to him that he was unable to have children due to male factor sterility. So Rumplestiltskin today (not the same one of the fairy tale) is a professor and has adopted a few children. He was never the worst guy but sadly he is never going to have his own kids.

Tight Rope Jack

There is a man named Jack in the Kingdom and he aspired to walk the Tight Rope high above our heads. Jack took all the classes and had high scores too. But the first time he walked the tight rope on a Sunday Afternoon, Jack took a sad spill. Luckily there may have been a net beneath. He works hard today but I am sad to say that Jack no longer is permitted to walk high above the crowds. But that is ok. I still see Jack and he likes to use his computer to spill calculations for other Tight Rope Walkers so that they do not fall on their first walk. Thanks Jack. I am walking high above with your calculations in my head today!

Bledsoe Soccer Player

There is a man in the Bledsoe family who is organized and efficient. Sadly, he was never a good football player. But that said, he could play Soccer. You will probably never hear much about him as soccer is not popular. But that said, he is one of the top soccer players and someday perhaps his football skills will really improve. Then we will all get confused as there is clearly already a Drew Bledsoe in Football and this new Bledsoe will be his friend but a different player entirely. Thanks.

Kaiser David

There is a fellow named David who wanted to be the Kaiser. He shook all the right peoples' hands and he worked efficiently in his daily routine. But that said, David was sadly ineffective at playing golf. Too bad. He would have made a great Kaiser.

Dicey the Cream Shake Maker

There is a fellow I know and his name is Dicey Stronghold.  Dicey is a big star and he likes to play the flute in the public square a few times a day.  This is good and Dicey has done his best to be the star of the square on a number of afternoons.  Dicey likes to work in the sardine canning business.  He likes to make the key that they put in the sardine cans to open the cans.   If you get to know Dicey, he is a very talented holder of bricks that one can use to build a stronghold.  I met Dicey once in the morning one day and he took me to a business restaurant for breakfast.  When we were there, Dicey told me of his passion for selling fruit by the car lots in the month of February.  I just did not understand why he would do this as there was always snow on the ground.  Dicey told me that he liked to see the looks on the faces of those shopping for cars when he offered them a Grapefruit or an Orange.  Dicey offered me a slice of blackberry pie that morning and I admit it did not taste too bad.  But that said, I never got the blackberry stain out of my shirt pocket where some of it sadly fell and landed.  I just never thought that Dicey would offer me a pie that would never come off of a red shirt that I had.  But that said, I never think of Dicey that much these days.  He was always a nice fellow when I had once known him before that time that he wanted to work in the sardine industry.  But I fear that now that he is a sardine worker, he never closes his door without a sardine key on his key chain.

Log Hopper Rodeo Man

There is a man I know from my youth and he is now a Rodeo Star.  He is busy as he likes to hop from log to log in the log roll part of this special rodeo.  This fellow whose name is Trey is a smart fellow.  All his life he wanted to be in the Rodeo.  So when he got his chance, he did not pass it up except that he does not ride the horses or the bulls.  He just does the log hopping contest and he likes it quite a bit.  No he is not a rodeo clown.  But that said, he likes to hop from log to log and if that doesn't work, he will stand on the logs and do the log dance.  So if you meet Trey, be his friend, but never forget that he really wanted to ride the bulls and now he just hops from log to log.  But thats ok.  He got part of his dream come true and we will never forget how he really liked to hop on logs when we each were young.  

Popeye the Place Kicker

There is a big man of a big place in the world and his name is Popeye. He is a very sharp fellow and he likes his tea luke warm. He dances in a big cantina at the end of the day and he works with the candles all lit in the midnight hour of life. This Popeye does not eat spinach to get his strength. He instead kicks footballs through the goal posts of life and does it with the utmost precision.

Harvard of Peach Tree Lane

There is a man who went to Harvard. He wrote all the text books of the future and wrote all of the adages of tomorrow. This guy was in of himself a true prophet for the race to come. But that said, poor Harvard had to live on Peach Tree Lane. It was so bad that Harvard cut down all of his cherry trees and built a dog house in his backyard. The dog he bought was a sad breed. It had boils on its arms and it had ferocious knotty hair as well. Too bad that our Friend, Harvard did not really like to take the advice of the professors he once knew at Harvard! Poor man was busy with his own feelings and his own truculent dreams to confer with the truly wise and now he lives somewhere that he just can not get used to. But that said, I believe that the future is bright for Harvard. He skis on Fridays and he eats good foods during the week. He works hard on his dreams and he uses all the cotton in the field to play his baseball games by making bases to run on out of cotton and the other good things in life.
So if you know a fellow like this fellow, Harvard, ... pay him some good respect. He really works hard and though he can not see the light, the light never goes away.

Narcissus the Bike Pilot of Mayberry Street

There is a fellow I have old years be gone known to my day and he is a fellow who likes to ride his bicycle. He rides it up and down a street that has a hill at the top. He likes to write long letters to his long lost sister that he has long since remembered as she has left his playground for the future. I must say that my friend whose name is Eltew is organized but seems to lack a simple name for his pet gold fish. I only write this as he seems to really like his gold fish a lot and even stares at the fish when it swims in circles in the fishbowl. Many may never name a gold fish of course, but this particular goldfish has been with Eltew for his entire life. It would only seem fitting that Eltew might wish to at least call it "guppy". But that said, Eltew rode his bicycle too many times and it broke in two. That was not the biggest trouble that Eltew had of course, but sadly Eltew refuses to get another bicycle and has bronzed the original bicycle.

Tyke Toons 4 is here!

https://www.createspace.com/3602182



Loopy Dreidle Studier

This is a tale about a man of the seed of Abraham who lived a great life but suffice to say, he studied the dreidle.  He liked to play with it and he liked to lift it up and calculate its exact weight.  He would occasionally spin the dreidle and he often lifted it from hand to hand.  My dear friend named Mory was a small smile in the daylight and a warm heart at the height of the evening.  He danced in the front pages of the Doctor's offices once upon a time and he really liked to be shown many milestones in the avenue of the well and worthwhile.  I miss my friend Mory and I believe he is suffering much less as he has gone to a new home in a new town this past orchestrated year.   I must say that Mory works often and works diligently.  He shares his blessings with others and he works in the peacemaking business though he calls it simply "sole searching in backyards of life".  Mory understands munitions and he works steadfast to bring the munitions he owns to offer others a chance of personal contact with all that befell him to build his huge Avenues of Relationships, Worth and Pleasure.  Mory understands the fact that one must turn over a new leaf and one must always busy oneself with good thoughts and wise useful knowledgeable orthodox passions. 

Frisko the Salt Checking Pasta Cook

There is a famous man in the restaurant that I visit once in a while and his name is Frisko.  Frisko works hard and he is especially good at cooking pasta.  Frisko's pasta is so good that noone ever leaves the restaurant hungry or even wanting anything else to eat the rest of the evening.  Frisko was a smart fellow, but alas, I must say, Frisko really went wild checking the salt in the salt shakers each hour he was at work.  It wasn't that the patrons took too much salt.  They really didn't.  His pasta had exactly the amount of salt that they needed.  But that said, the salt shakers sometimes might have been spilled off the tables and sadly, Frisko was unhappy that once a patron said that there was no more salt for his pasta one night. 

Bruce the Waiter

There is a man named Bruce and he is a waiter at the finest of hotels.  Bruce is intelligent and he examines the faces of everyone in the restaurant and decides for them exactly what it is that they really would want for dinner.  It never failed to amaze me that never was there ever a person who did not find Bruce's suggestion to be exactly the dinner that they were truly in the mood to eat that evening.

Cotton Kimmo the Crab Thrower

I have a certain dignified friend of mine whose name is Kim the Baker.  Kim is a he kim and he likes to offer children crackerjacks at the baseball games.   Kim is wise and organized.  I never expected it but I learned that Kim likes to throw Crabs at the ballpark for fun.  Truly one must say that this is inhumane, but actually he only tosses them about 2 feet in front of him.  This is actually quite funny and he got his name Cotton Kimmo as he always wore a big cotton fleece on his shoulders when he threw the Crabs. 
Kim is on time and always available for a talk of baracuda fishing I think.  He likes to go out on his nice large boat and he likes to go sailfish fishing when he is on the seas.   He catches the most colorful sailfish but he never ever throws a single one back.  People pay him for the dinners he may bring home and he gladly offers every sailfish he has ever caught to the truly hungry persons at the seashore.
Best wishes, Kimmo.  I am waiting to hear about your future baseball goodness. 

Manno Mannoa Mannoagua Mannima

I met this fellow whose name is written above. I can not write it twice so I will just call him Morton Mortonhood. Morton is a brilliant star and he loves beethoven. But that said, Morton did not like Chopin as much as I had thought he might. Morton drives a large Old Buick and it gets horrible gas mileage. But that is ok because he has a special deal with that Saudis to get free gasoline in return for Mortons exquisite Barbecue Grill Cooking that he shares with the Saudis during the month of August. Morton works very studiously at his new passion, that is competitive chess matches. Morton was a student of the best of the best at one time and now he really is nearly undefeated internationally at the competitive chess events. If you meet Morton, explain to him that he should try backgammon some time. Its really a fun sport and he may not even have to study the details as much. I am sure that with his careful considerations, he will be a champ of that circuit as well.

Santa Clause the Bug Killer

I have a certain friend and he loves to play Santa Clause at the mall every Christmas. This was a good move for him because lots of children really liked his laughter, his beard and his rolly polly mid section. I enjoy Santa whose name is really Mornoff. I think that Mornoff is a bright and diligent leader of the future, but sadly for Mornoff, it is not the future that we all really wanted. You see, Mornoff likes to race stock cars in his spare time and this idea caught on that he could make the highways of our lives a place for stock cars to parade down the street as well. Truly it seems like a neat idea, but sadly of course Stock Cars can not simply drive on the streets with the rest of the automobiles. So if you meet Mornoff, be glad he is around. He is the smartest Santa at the Malls and he leaves all of the children with lots of excellent toys indeed. But that said, Mornoff is busy today working on his field hockey team's roster and he really can not dance in the mall as long as he used to in the past. That is all good and fine, but Mornoff will likely never finish that field hockey's Team Roster ever. Its just too challenging a league that he involves himself and really who wants to go from hockey to car racing in the same afternoon, right?
So Mornoff, I am waiting for you to visit the circus because I left you a computer at the Circus stand that I once played air hockey for the Clowns team once upon a time. The computer holds a lot of very interesting files on Traditional Warfare and as you are into the sporting arena, I am certain that this might interest you as well.

Yinnie the Egg Plant Planter

I met this nice nice nice woman named Yinnie. She loved to plant Egg plants in the front yards of all of her families' homes. This was a neat task and she took to it quite fondly. Red Egg plants and of course Purple ones. But she even had turquoise ones and even silver ones as well. Yinnie was famous and she worked hard at the trade of baseball fortune telling. Every baseball player in town would visit Yinnie in the beginning of the season to see what their Averages might be for the following year. This was very lucrative and Yinnie danced every afternoon when she went to the bank with the proceeds of her business. But sadly, Yinnie lost a shoe one day and sadly there was never another shoe that fit her just quite right. So if you see Yinnie, please be kind to her. She is a beautiful thoughtful person and she really might indeed find a play that you never thought you could make that you can learn about before you ever step on that baseball diamond of life. Thanks Yinnie. I am going to hit that home run next year for sure now!

Candy Kicker of the Seventh Sun

I met this interesting woman the previous month and I must say that she is quite a formidable and interesting woman indeed. She tip-toes though the tulips with a cigar in her jowls and she really likes to read books by Mark Twain. I was amazed that she was so prolific but it was true, she was an ace in her home town's bowling alley club. She was organized and religious and she really made a lot of people smile when they saw how fast she could throw a bowling ball down the alley of life. This was good and she obviously went far in her days. But that said, I must profess she is from another solar system. The seventh Sun from the Andromeda-Chateau Constellation was her home. She worked diligently and she always smoked a cigar in public, but that said, she was finally able to break free of the original gravity of her home planet and find a new place to live. This was good for her, but sadly I must report that she really never opened a book by Stephen King. It was just too scary for her.

Papa Smurf of the Easter Parade

I have a friend named Challenge and he is a big star. He would always dress up as a pink Papa Smurf at the Easter Parade in Los Angeles. Challenge is a smart fellow and he always knew that being a pink Papa Smurf would never make a single person angry unless for some reason they just did not like pink bearded men who are supposed to be blue. This was so stunning that it left all his friends and all of the villagers in awe every year. So if you meet Challenge who really is named Chris, I assure you that he is a man of the hour and a spirit of the best of times. Be his friend and be his best friend if you are so permitted. He's a fellow that anyone in this nation can be proud to be associated with in my best of thoughts.

Bingo Eater

Admirably, there is a man who exists that eats up all the bingo balls in the bingo machine. This is not a sin folks. He really is a smart guy. You see, people in this planet he lives on are not allowed to have bingo balls in their possession. Bingo Ball Eater named Murphy was always popular becuase he could literally eat any bingo ball that he found. This may sound really awful and nasty, but consider this. In his world, bingo balls are quite nutritious and they come in many varieties of flavors. Murphy was spectacular and could eat a dozen balls in a sitting. But don't ask him to eat the Bingo game board. That was just too much for him. Really.

Cassandra of the Order Zone

I know another colleague of mine from the duties of the past. She is known as Cassandra and she really likes to order ice tea to quench her voracious thirst in life. Cassandra would always walk up to drive through windows and she would simply get a super large iced tea. It was a big sword that she carried as she was known to always be a friend of all of the drive-throughs and that she was ready with the exact change each time she would order a drink. We all loved Cassandra, but sadly, I must report, she was not very happy one day when there was no lemon for her iced tea at a fast food chain she visited. I admire Cassandra very much, but I must profess that she really did not contain herself very well when she learned that there was only lemon juice and no real lemon. Sadly, I have heard that Cassandra has decided to ask for lemons in advance before she visits the drive throughs. But that said, I have faith that Cassandra is still doing well and she really drinks that Iced Tea very very fast. So if you meet Cassandra today, Just smile and say hello. If you have a lime she might really enjoy that I think. But never get between her and her lemons. Thanks.

Tappy the Eel Thrower

There was once a friend of mine, or really just a professional acquaintance to be perfectly honest and she was named Tappy. Tappy was a busy lady and she often dined in the finest of restaurants when it was time to have business meetings abroad. She was intelligent and she was orthodox, but sadly I must say, Tappy had a small problem. She liked to go to the aquariums and visit the Eels. When she went though, she would roll up her sleeves and grab the eel and toss it at the Manta Rays. I do not know why she did this but it did not make a single person unhappy. The aquarium was happy all the time when she visited and the bosses at work knew of her peculiarity and they even liked her more for it. That was good and fine. But sadly, one day she tossed an eel into a sharks path and the shark sort of had a little dinner. It was not the best day at the aquarium but Tappy still was able to show up and visit the eels. So if you meet Tappy, please be advised that she is a special person to me and that every time I think of her, I will always consider that she really liked to make Manta Rays and Eels friends in life. Not that shark incident. Heavens no.

Thaddeus the Straw Chaser

There is a man I have met before whose name is Thaddeus. Thaddeus was a big star in the lottery industry and he always had his photograph taken with all of the lottery winners.  In Thaddeus's spare time, he spent it on his farm chasing straw that he needed to feed to his horses.  This was his pleasure and he always wanted to find more straw to feed all seventy of his horses.  This was truly Thaddeus's right as he felt that having a good number of horses proved that he was truly a man that was to be remembered in the daylight, morning and evenings of life.   I liked Thaddeus when we met, but sadly, I could not enjoy his best wishes to try to play the lottery.  I just did not like my chances.  I thought I would be throwing my money away and perhaps I was happy with my lot in life as it was so given.  That was ok with me.  Thaddeus was a big Broadway actor too and he soon was able to get a good dozen shows a month in which he was the lead role in a hit about cotton growers.   I did enjoy Thaddeus's show and it was a good one to be seen even twice, but that said, Thaddeus's skills on the stage were adequate but really not that superior.  He was interesting and I enjoyed it when he sang in his bass to tenor voice too, but if you like to listen to baritones, Thaddeus was not the guy for you.  That said, Thaddeus was a firm handshake and I predict success for a good time.  He sends telegrams to the sick and he winds his old fashioned car and starts its engine efficiently and it is always a neat ride to see around the corn cob acres of the prairie.   Indeed Thaddeus was dignified and he never slew a chicken on his farm without first checking if the chicken was ready to be slaughtered, but that said, Thaddeus and I should indeed find more merit in going to the bowling alley and bowling and perhaps maybe someday having a beer or cigar together.   I was trying to introduce Thaddeus to my best friends Robert and Mark and John but sadly, he said that he only wanted to be around his friends Thomas, Frank and David.  That was ok with me, but I really think that he might like my other friends as well.  
So if you meet Thaddeus, please watch out, he does not like to watch the cinema on the television set often and he really likes to stand in the day light and count the corn from the harvest.   Indeed Thaddeus is a wise fellow.  If you like to play the Lottery, Thaddeus will even pose for a photo with you if you don't win the Expensive Prize.

Penny Loafer Girl of Popsicleville

There is a girl named Gretchen Mavery who likes to wear Penny Loafers.  She is a fine lady and she really just wants to go home in the evenings to her small house in the Popsicleville section of Town.  This was good as she always had lots of popsicles to enjoy and ehiss is her sound that she makes when she speaks to the children in the front yard of her square house.   This was good as her ehisses were really not hisses and she meant no harm to anyone except those who hated snakes, cats and bats.  But that said, Gretchen Mavery was a busy woman and she always paid her taxes completely every year that she was busy in the market place where she worked as a tempest breaker.  I admire Gretchen Mavery very much and if there is another person by this name, realize that the Gretchen I speak of is really a maniac for the Lyre.  She likes to play her lyre often and it sounds great.  But I dare say that another Gretchen may be confused for the dear Penny Loafer wearer that I describe here in.  Thanks to this neat person, people can ehiss all they want and still never get into any major trouble in any other person's minds.   Thanks.

Popular Kite Charter of the Special Generation of Bone Excavators

There exists a man named Ulysses and he likes to work with Kites.  His generation was all bone excavators and they liked to make sure that no fossil remained unexamined.  This fossil collector himself was a busy fellow as he really liked to charter kites for the children to fly into the stratosphere.  There were children from all around the world who took Ulysses's kites and safely flew them into the stratosphere and were able to always safely land on the ground.  Ulysses made so many kites that children never ever got to ride every one of them in their lifetime unless they really set out to ride on Ulysses's kites.  I rode one for the first time when I was very young and I must say I knew I had to ride many more.  I did for a good many years but funny I forgot that I enjoyed it so much.  When I got older, the kites were really not as exciting anymore but they still flew high in the sky.  But that said, I really hope that ambitious children of the future consider the Kite Rides which will likely last until the end of time.  Funny is that many people who are either afraid of kite rides or else they hate that a child could go so high condemned the Kite Rides of Ulysses. But that said, if you want to read a Stephen King book, especially when you are a young adult, I say give it a try.  They are exciting and you'll always be safe in the long run.  Thanks!

Weed Kicker of the Plastic Fork Generation

There is a man named Bart and he liked to kick the weeds on the gardens that ran through his father's estate's land.  This was a great way to live.  Bart would go out and kick the weeds and the weeds sprang back up once again, but with a memory of a shoe that showed them that they really were just weeds and not illustrious plants at all.  The weeds soon learned of their true nature and the plants all were proud that they were not kicked by Bart's shoes.  Bart grew up to be a Doctor and he treated the sick and the infirm.  One day Bart emptied his pockets on his Doctor's White Coat and he found a prescription for Pina Coladas.  This prescription was written on the most beautiful of prescription pads and he clearly had no idea who had placed it in his coat pocket.   So Bart went to a local bar and filled the prescription and enjoyed a nice large Pina Colada and was happy all the rest of his days as the prescription had unlimited refills. 
Many thanks to Bart, there are children all over the world now who know how to kick a weed and they do it too.  But that said, Bart's medical practice was the ace in the hole as his patients all got better and they all liked to buy Bart's special weed kicking shoes from him.  This was amazing as Bart had no idea that kicking weeds would be so popular.  But that said, Plastic Forks go well with Grapes of Wrath.   Magnificent places ahead for Mr. Steinbeck I would think.  Thanks.

Medussa of the Bone Yard Grill

There exists a woman of the Medussa type with many snakes growing from her scalp and with poisonous venom in their fangs.  She is bright and she likes to be called Landtz.  Landtz is a very exceptional lady indeed as she can go 12 days without sleep at all!  She likes to read Robert Frost Poetry but that said, she is still a Medussa!  She can not be looked at directly or you will turn to stone!  So if you meet Landtz, remember that she really covets attention, friendship and comraderie, but that she just kills people with her ugly looks!  It is that bad, but fortunately for Landtz, there is real therapy available.  She can get a dimmer switch installed in her mind that will dim the effects of gazing directly at her.  She can also get wigs that can cover up the snakes on her hairline.   That would be good and perhaps Landtz will get this help that is so needed.  Then perhaps the young children will play with her once again.  But that said, Landtz does not really realize that indeed it is her snake hair and her looks that betray her and keep her without many happy children in her company.  So if you meet Landtz, look away!  But leave her a note for a good medussa-therapist.  I think that perhaps if she gets enough notes, she may want to look away too! 

Alan the Dragon Coach

There exists a man named Alan, and he loved to speak his piece in the forum of life.  Alan was a star as he always knew he would indeed become.   He had a knack for meeting with dragons and coaching them on how to make the biggest fire breath and also how to use their claws to scratch and claw their foes.   Alan worked hard and he always wanted to own his own dragon egg collection.  So Alan, one day, snuck into one of the dragon nests and took 4 of the eggs from its nest.    The eggs were orange and pink and they looked very simple and with great form.  Alan took these eggs and placed them in an urn in his bathroom and he watched them when he went to the bathroom and spent time on the throne.   That was really not his intent as he really wanted to put the eggs on his mantle.  They would never hatch as they were immediately turned to stone when they were removed from the Dragons nest, as was the fate of any stolen dragon egg.  This may seem like a problem for the dragons but this actually ensured dragon survival.  It meant that no one could ever hatch a dragon egg and have their own dragon obedient to their own wishes.  So when Alan brought the eggs mistakenly into his bathroom, he became transfixed with their stunning luster and he could not seem to remove them from that location in his house.   This was clearly not Alan's plan as he again wanted to put them on his mantle.  But once they got to the bathroom, Alan could no longer move them as they had grown so large that they filled his bathtub.  This was ok Alan considered as he now had a prize to show his guests.  But that said, Alan had to bathe with the eggs in his presence.  This was not too difficult as Alan was prideful in his ways to be a yoga enthusiast and he was able to contort around the eggs. 
So if you meet Alan today, please ask him if he still likes coaching the Dragons.  Does it still fill him with pride or do the eggs supplant that happiness for him.  I must say that it was difficult to tell if Alan's favorite color was orange or pink, but seeing that the eggs were both colors, I'd say that happiness may have found Alan indeed.   Best wishes, Alan.   But please don't sell those eggs.  The dragons may find out you took them and they you will not be able to train any more Dragons!  OY!

Lady Carmella of the Toll Booth Lane

There was once a woman named Carmella and she loved putting tolls in the basket at the pikes of Life.  She so exceeded all that she never had a spare coin in her purse as every coin was securely thrown into the basket at the toll booth that she often drove past in her fun rides on the highway.  Sadly, Lady Carmella never made much money in the businesses she tried to form in her days.  She tried to sell hats and that did not work.  She tried to open envelopes for the rich, but the rich just wanted to open their own envelopes.  Once she wanted to stuff pillow cases with triangular styrofoam pieces and that almost worked for her, except she decided that she did not enjoy the stuffing process and she soon quit to find a new job. 
One day Carmella was busy shopping at the boathouse express and she was searching for lampshades for her husband's boat.  This was a big deal for her for she did not like the exposed light bulbs of her husband's cabin in the front of the boat.   She looked and looked and finally she found a red and blue canopied lamp shade that seemed to be a beautiful lamp shade for a boat interior.  She paid for it with the remaining change in her purse.  Little did she know that she would be passing a toll booth on her way to the ship yard to visit her husband later that day.  This was ok as she realized she could speed through the toll way and pay no toll.  She reasoned that every one was allowed to pass the toll booth at least once without paying, right?  But that was not to be.  Lady Carmella was arrested and brought up on charges of larceny and that did not sit well with her fans at the sword shop that was one of her favorite haunts.   This was terrible and she soon realized that she never fwooshed another sword without someone laughing at her in the front of the store. But that said, Lady Carmella was still quite funny and she lived a long life but without much fwooshing left in her.   Thanks for the fwooshing, Lady Carmella, but dont forget to pay your tolls on the superhighway of life.   Thanks.

Jessica the Sign Post Grabber

There exists a lady named Jessica. She liked to grab ahold of sign posts. All day long, Jessica would drive through town with her husband, Alan and they would pass up signs. Jessica would reach out of the window of the car and grab ahold of the sign post. The Stop signs, The yield Signs and any of the signs on the highway of Life. Jessica liked to grab ahold of their post and then let Alan take her photograph. It got to the point that they had a collection of 10,000 or more sign post photos with Jessica with her blonde hair in the wind clinging to a sign post and smiling for the camera. Of course she always wore her sunglasses. But that said, there was one problem. Jessica was rear ended by a car one day when the sign post she tried to grab was a yield sign. It was a real shame and only the damage to the Car that Alan and Jessica drove was apparent. But that said, perhaps Jessica will find a new habit. We can only hope so.

JayCee the Slime Thrower

There was once a man named JayCee and he was a busy son of the nicest of peoples.  He liked to dance in the breakroom at work and he really liked to toss slime on other people in life.  He did not realize that this was very annoying or even offensive.  But it seemed like a good thing.  He thought that the green ugly slime was funny and if he tossed it on another person, it might be something that everyone else could enjoy as well.  So if you meet JayCee, be a nice person.  His family is nice, but sadly he just does not really find that there is much else to do than dance in a break room of life.  He does not take coffee and he does not even eat the bread and butter.  But that slime has got to stop I think.  I suppose that someone will eventually throw it back at him and then there will be a slime throwing war I suppose.   But that said, I just wipe it off my glasses and go on with my day in life.  So JayCee, I await your sudden transformation someday.  And perhaps you can have a bagel in that break room or you might even try some matzos.  It tastes good and the dancing is all good and fine, but really, is anyone really watching?  They are busy eating.  Thanks.

Tess the Lady who Eats Playdough

There is a woman I have known named Tess.  She really liked to eat Playdough.  It was just a simple thing she did as a child, but it soon progressed to a daily routine as an adult.  She liked the blue the best and often enjoyed the red and yellow Playdoughs as well.  One day Tess woke up and her belly was swollen and this amused her so.  She was always told that as a child, she should not eat the Playdough.  But that was never a concern as she felt energized and ready for anything when she ate that Playdough in the past. 
If you meet Tess on the streets, please do not feed her any clay.  Clay does not entice her at all.  She likes the Playdough only and if its hardened, she will still eat it once in a while.  But that said, Tess had one small flaw.   When her stomach was distended and angry at her, she must have been a silly thing that she took the Playdough from the doctor's children and now the Doctor would not be too keen to visit her in her infirmity. 
That was not the problem that Tess anticipated, but surely, no doctor would refuse to treat a patient. 
So Tess is doing ok now.  She eats only the yellow Playdough now and she likes to follow it with a chaser of lime juice as well.   If Tess does not stop eating the Playdough, she will surely be sick someday, but that is not a big deal as she has super health insurance.   But if Tess ever eats any more Blue Playdough, I don't think that the discoloration of her mouth is ever going to go away. 
So, Tess, please remain at your best and if you can ever stop eating the Playdough, that would really be great.  But I am sure that you are happy and that it seems to work for you and if you don't get sick much, who is to stop you, right?

Sally of Fallow Orchards

There was once a lady named Sally.  She acted in many ways as a trust worthy friend. But that said, her day was spent in the orchards of her father and her brother.  Her brother did not tend to the trees' health and they soon all were with rot and disease.  Sally knew no better and thought that was how orchards were to bear.  They had fruit, but it was not quite that plentiful.  Sally was fun to hang out with and never did I see her complain about a tree in the orchard.  But that said, what was it that Sally and I had to speak about in life?  Never a trouble or a silence among us.   Sally came and went from my thoughts once in a while and I really never had any inclination to really keep touch after the years went on.  If sally was a friend I was not to receive any further mail or phone calls.  If she was not, she really did not step on my grave in life with too much resentment of hatred either.  But that's said, I miss Sally a little bit.  She laughed like a queen and that was always interesting.  She drove around in luxury means and she really spoke with the King's Command of the English Language. 
So Sally, perhaps one day you will realize that you never really left my mind and that once in a while, I revisit your mind in the place that I once found it so many years gone by.
What happened to that laugh of yours though?  Do you still like to dance in the vineyard as I once remembered you to enjoy?  I hope that you have not forgotten that others enjoyed that vineyard too.  But that said, we are still partiers from a generation once gone by in time.   So Sally, where have you been all these years.  I hope that perhaps before you run for Congress, you and I might be in touch perhaps.  But that said, I expect that your future is quite a fun one, whether it be in the Balcony of Success or the Daylight of the Vineyard you once enjoyed as a friend and co-conspirator of my evil days yore be gone.
Best wishes and if you ever buy another luxury ride, please tell me about it!  I would love to hear your success stories of the fame you ascribe with your leadership and trust.  Thanks.

Bugsby the Avenue Shark of Leadership and Life

There is a certain woman in our kingdom and her name is Bugsby.  She is bright and famous and she lives in a house by the lake.  This woman was friendly with me when I could find not many friends.  She was a shark of sorts as she ate all of the crazy ideas that came forward from the battlefield of discontent, troubles, bitterness, strife, impoverishment and injury.  I must say Bugsby is wise and forthright and she has danced in my work in many ways ever since we have been acquainted.  If you ever have the pleasure to meet her in person, be at your best.  She does not tolerate indigence and she does not enjoy deviants.   I must say that Bugsby is orthodox in every measure that a person can be and if you can get a glimpse into her well being and her wisdom, you will be all the wiser and you will live all the more better.
So Bugsby, I remain in your service as it may be and you will always be the top of my star album of role models to exemplify our strong suit in life.  With the most gratitude, I remain, a student of you forever.  Thanks.

Persimmon the Jet Maker

There is a man in the kingdom named Persimmon and he worked in the Jet Making Trade.  All day long, Persimmon made Jet Engines for Airlines and Race Cars.  This was such a busy business that everyone around the kingdom loved reading about Persimmons Endeavors.  Persimmon worked hard and diligently and soon all of the King's Airlines had Engines to fly and his race cars competed beautifully on their racetracks.  Persimmon was honorable and he liked to watch bunnies jump into hoops at the Circus.  I miss Persimmon as he was so engrossed in his work that we rarely spoke with him more than once a year at best.  But rest assured, Persimmon was a smart fellow and he really liked to speak to the runners before their race.  It was always a blessing to have Persimmon hand you a sports drink before your run in life and he handed me a number of them too.  I must say that Persimmon has left the race endorsement business and gone on to new organized ways of life today, but that said, I will never forget Persimmon.  He endorsed my race car and it flies so fast today with his Jet Engines as well.  I can compete fast and furiously and I enjoy that way of life.   Persimmon is amazing.   Thanks!

Jubilee the Jaspy Jumping Jack of Luck Makers Fortune

I have a friend named Jubilee who likes to paint scenic scenes of April, May and June.  He paints photos of seagulls at the ocean and he writes books about garments and the great success of many conquerors of the yesteryear.  Jubilee who likes to be called Jubiles is a smart fellow for he has listened to all of the classic music ever composed.  He fills his mind with melodies of the greatest composers and he writes the best works that anyone possibly could if they were not from the Spanish Inquisition Memories from History Class.  Sadly, Jubilee never thought of the Spanish Inquisition other than to know that it really did happen somewhere far off from where he was birthed in life.    Jubiles works hard for a living and remembers his friends in his mind.  He never refuses to send a Christmas card and he hardly lets anyone push him around in the Rose Garden either.  But that is all good and fine.  He was a good friend of mine and I do like that he leads his life with the Russian Gulags far behind him in his head.   I did not hate that he wrote a book about my own infancy as I never knew what I was really like as an infant.  That is ok by me.  But I do hope that Jubiles reads my memoirs as I have credited him with a big snow ball fight that we all knew was possibly coming but Jubiles got to throw the first snowball.  It hit my friend square in the face and sadly, I am not sure what happened to the one that was hit by that snowball today. 
So Jubiles, find the day your friend.  I hope that your day is a nice avenue of happiness in the house and at the office.  You make me smile in memory but I do profess that I no longer enjoy the snowball fight quite as much as you have made the biggest hit in my days on another that I once trained with. 
Best Wishes.
Yours Truly,
A friend with no name.

Rummy of the Disco Fever Avenue

There once was a man named Rummy and he liked to play cards.  Hearts was his favorite, but he would certainly play Bridge or even Eucker.  This was a blessing and if you wanted to play cards, Rummy was there for you.
That said, Rummy was funny in that he never woke up in the morning with a swollen tongue.  He always was quick to make sure that if he snored, that he would turn on his side and then wait until he almost snored again and then wake up and turn again.  Thus is tongue and throat never swelled in the morning. 
This was a good plan, but if you ask me, its good to just let sleep take you where you are to go in the dreamworld of life.  That is a good thing. 
So if you meet Rummy, ask him to tell you the tale of the Roadway Racers and their Roadway Listening Skills.  Rummy is a bright fellow and I think he silently knows that it is ok to snore a little bit in the sleep of life.   I don't worry much about Rummy.  He walks upright and smiles at the smartest people that he has known.  This is a good trait.  Rummy wears an umbrella when it rains outside and he often asks his way around town when he is lost.  Rummy writes sonnets in the morning of the springtime of life and he works hard in his post as a guards man at the Turtle Center Supply Shop.   Rummy is bright and he really deserves a good acclaim.  So, Rummy here it is.  You get to walk in the Rose Garden someday on my watch of course.  I do bet that you are a wise fellow and I think that you need more Turtles for your Backyard Pond in the Day of Leisure that you certainly deserve more than many I know.  Thanks.

Mud Flap Smiley Guy of the Unknown Order of Life

There is a man in this Universe and he likes to smile at the mud flaps on trucks and some other vehicles on the Freeway of Happiness.  This fellow who we shall refer to as Ahmena is a friend of no one in the Kingdom and he likes to eat raw vegetables with a harpoon gun to skewer them and put them in his oral cavity.  This fellow Ahmena is unorthodox yet he still gets in the Door to the Business Section of Paradise because despite that he likes to smile at the mud flaps, he has yet to destroy the trucks and vehicles that carry them, as we know today.  True he has shot his harpoon gun at a few of the vehicles and he likes to paint the vehicles in a crimson a orange decor.  But that said, he is still allowed to enter this Door as we have not yet decided that Ahmena is indeed a dead man in the eyes of the King.  The King does not enjoy this Ahmena's company and he does not wish for him to perish immediately, but that said, this Ahmena is likely to transpire to a bad illness unless he rewrites his own Enjoyment Section in the Newspaper of Life.  It remains to be seen if Ahmena is really going to want to please our King or if he just wants to expose himself to tragedy in his own life and years.   We will not know until the King says it is time to know more.  Stay tuned.

Talkative Chaser of Ponies in the Daylight we Enjoy

There exists a man in the kingdom who is intelligent and friendly and I must say that he is a wise fellow in many many ways. I like him quite a bit and I will call him Clayton of the Dime Store Success Zone.  I like Clayton as he likes to chat often about anything of any importance in the Universe.  He lives in a stout house and he wears chain mail armour after hours.   I enjoyed speaking with Clayton once in a while and I even offered him a bit of wisdom too.  Never put on your Chain Mail armour when you are wearing your Plate Mail armour. Clayton laughed and told me that I would be happy to see him wearing either.  So if you meet Clayton in a Bar or in the public park, tell him that he is a fellow that you can speak freely with at most length and that he is truly a renaissance fellow of the year.  Thanks.

Adam's Apple of Love and Bookmarks of Tin

I have a friend who has a very large Adam's Apple.  His or her name is Shel and he or she does not like to read any books by Shel Silverstein.  Shel is a busy fellow/lady and he or she likes to dance in the troubled section of mankind's memories.   I liked Shel a bit but sadly, I sent Shel a letter and he or she did not wish to reply.  That was ok by me since Shel and I really had little in common in life.  But that said, Shel once was friendly to me and I was astonished that Shel just never commented on my funny quippy commentary in the newspaper columns in the Daily Tribune.
So if you meet Shel, tell him or her that you enjoy his or her lifestyle a bit, but that you really never got why she he or whatever she or he is is still bugging the world with his or her own bookmarks of tin that he or she liked to stick in people's books in life.  That was good when we were children, but sadly, I can not understand why Shel still likes to make such a mockery of the Daily Tribune.  It has carried stories about him or her a number of times and always said nice things.
So Shel, I await your reply to my comments in the Newspapers of Life.  But that said, please cover up that Adam's apple.  It is just too exposed to humanity.  Thanks.

July Maven of Hate

There exists in the kingdom a woman of the prettiest affections.  She dances in the quarries and she lights the torch of freedom with her quick wit. But that said, she has dispossessed all talents the day that every child got to visit her seat in the balcony that possessed a charm the proportions of a magic candle that burns with a flame of hatred.  I liked this maven who we will call July, but sadly July did not like me.  She showed me her magic candle and she asked me to sit down in her chair.  I was appalled, but I did it anyhow.  This day I must profess that I have blown out her magic candle but it still burns in her mind and being. 

Pocky the Evil Matchbox Eater

There exists in the kingdom a man named Pocky and he enjoys eating men and women's matchboxes that they may offer to him to light his cigars.  Pocky is a busy man as he practices backgammon morning, noon and night. But sadly one day, the backgammon player association was informed that he liked to cheat and take too many moves when he rolled doubles.  So if Pocky is out there somewhere, be advised that noone will play backgammon with you any longer.  Sorry man, its just not your day.

Mindy the Clown Blower

There is a lady named Mindy and she likes to blow on clowns.  Every time she goes to the circus, she goes right up to the clowns and blows on their clown suit.  Sometimes she likes to blow on their faces and once in a while, she blows so hard that their rubber nose might fall off and they have to scramble to find it once again.  That was Mindy's trick.  She liked to dance into the living room of life and put on a clown suit herself.  In fact if she put on her own clown suit, everyone tried to blow on her clown nose.  I didn't think that Mindy was really that involved in the daily clowning around, but she really liked to dance in the blue and silver clown suit that her mother and father once bought for her.  This is a good way for Mindy to exist and if you want to visit with Mindy, please be warned that she likes it if you wear a pink bow tie with a red and orange clown suit on.   This is her pleasure and you will always get a seat in her family room or even the kitchen too!  Thanks, Mindy, I always like to wear my clown suit but I will tell you my little secret, my bow tie is really a rose color and not really that pink, but since you never noticed, I think we are all ok!  Thanks.

Sir Walter the Pac Man Player from Jersey Shore

There is a man named Sir Walter.  He is not the Sir Walter who owns this blog title, however (blog name is Sir Walter's Backgammon Table).  They are completely different people.  This Sir Walter is a man from Jersey Shore and he likes to play Pac Man.  Sir Walter is a busy man and he likes to dance with the flowers in the rose gardens of life.  He is funny and he is organized, but sadly he does not really enjoy the game of bowling either.  Sir Walter does not like bowling because he always scores 299 and he could never in all his days score 300.  So close, yet so far from true success it might seem.  So he gave up the game.   But that is ok.  He hates golf as he does not like to search for his balls in the rough and he hates playing pin ball as well.  Pin Ball is too simplistic he says.  So he plays Pac Man morning, noon and night.  He likes to light up a cigarette during the pac man intermission comics that he gets to every ten minutes or so.   He never plays Ms. Pac Man and he adores baby Pac Man but is yet to play the game.
So if you meet this other Sir Walter, please be cautioned that he is not getting any younger and that he is not getting any surer.   I think that he really likes to play Pac Man because he likes to see little round dots disappear from the screen.  He never eats up the ghosts though when he gets the super power up pill.  That was against his ways as he really liked to just run and hide from the ghosts and he never thought that they could be eaten when they turned blue.  But that's ok.  Sir Walter will soon be changing his name to Hopey Changey and he really does not like to be called Walter either.  Sorry, Hopey Changey, there is no hope or change anticipated in your great life more than waking up and turning on the television I suspect.  But I will await your next dart game if you do so with to play darts again.  I heard you could score a perfect 500 and that is quite impressive.  But that said, I wish you might take up badminton as a fellow like you might really enjoy the little racquets in life.  Thanks.

Rocky the Punch Bag Doctor

I have an acquaintance named Rocky.  He is a big star and he likes to study boxing and other pugilistic sports.  Rocky has taken it upon himself to diagnose and even treat maladies that afflict the punching bags at the local gym.  He will inspect them and decide if they need to be sewn up or if more substance needs to be added to their padding.  He has replaced a few and he likes to make sure that the boxers are well endowed with a boxing device that they can use to hone their skills.  Rocky is a smart man, but sadly, he has a fatal error.  Rocky can not lift the punching bags by himself and has to depend on the assistance of his sister to help him lift these punching bags.  She obliges and that is fine.  But poor Rocky might not always have his sister Tiny with him very much and if she goes away, what will Rocky do? 
If you see Rocky at the Gym, remember that he is a styling guy and that he really likes eggs in the morning.  Eggs make him very happy but sadly, he does not like to crack them and sometimes eats them shell and all.  Rocky is intelligent but he does not enjoy the game of bowling.  Bowling makes him agitated as he really can not know if the ball was too heavy or too light for him and he spends the entire day sampling many balls but never deciding what weight is best for him.   So bowling is out.  But let him play you in golf.  He hits a mean drive and he likes to put it in on 2 at the most.   To see Rocky in the Movie Theatre, you might want to sit in the front row.  He likes to crane his head back and watch the movie up close. 

Jimmy the Lunch Eater from Neptune

There is a man named Jimmy and he loved to eat lunch.  He was originally from New York, but he changed his address to Neptune City, Neptune the Planet.   Jimmy was a big star and he loved to play with clocks that needed to be wound up and shaken too.  Jimmy was busy all of his days, but sadly, Jimmy really did not enjoy having dinner or even eating breakfast.  Only Lunch was how Jimmy lived his life.  Jimmy liked to hold pennies in his hands and he liked to show off his coin collection to many of his friends.   It was a good way for Jimmy to live and sometimes, people even offered him a free lunch.  So if you meet Jimmy, just ask him what he wants on his sandwich or what he might like to drink with his meal.  Your conversation sadly might not get much further than his table habits, but once in a while, beware, Jimmy might send a scout to take your photograph so that he can put it on his wall so that he can see your face while he is eating lunch.  Jimmy has a large wall of photographs and he likes to be able to stare at other peoples faces when he eats his daily meal.  So Jimmy, if you are out there, I do not really need my photo taken.  Perhaps you can give me a call and we can discuss breakfast or even brunch.  But I have an appointment for lunch already and I have dinner plans as well.  Thanks.

Onyx the Gem Collector

There is a woman named Onyx and she liked to collect gems.  Many rubies as well as emeralds.  This was a good way for Onyx to live.  She sold apples in the afternoon day light to brothers and sisters around the special gold mine that she once owned but sadly sold for more peridot gems.   I thought that Onyx was a fun woman, but sadly as she sold her mine, she no longer had gold to place her gems in settings.  She sold gems alone without any jewelry fastenings to contain them.  This was ok but sadly, noone ever remembered her name or her treasures.  I didn't miss Onyx when she left the block one day.  I just never thought of her much in my years.  If she lives a great life, that is wonderful.  But really, what do you do if you sell your Gold mine for Peridot?  Peridot is a nice jewel, but its really not as valued as a ruby or an emerald.  It is nice on necklaces, but you really dont enjoy it unless its fixed in a golden ornamental fixture.  So Onyx, dear Onyx, find your way and buy that gold mine back I hope.  Be a good jewel seller but don't sweat the future.  Its the day you need to be thinking of, of course!

Diamond Mane of Hate

Dear Old man whom I have seen a few dozen times. Why do you never say hello in the mornings. I suspect your answers are in the clear but if you really want to say hello, who would I be to say anything other than greetings sir?

Dice Man the Vinegar Expert

There is a man I know who is a Dice Player.  He likes to roll the dice in life and just let the dice show him what today will bring.  That is good and fine if he so wants to live that way.  But his preferred interest it seems is to sniff vinegars and decide if they were a good vinegar or not so good a vinegar.  One day our friend whose name is Andrew Yates told me that I was a busy person but that he did not think I could ever keep my hands busy enough.  Perhaps Dice Player Andy was right in this assessment, but the truth is that if he ever asks me for a new set of dice for his dice game, I cannot oblige and offer them to him.  I have only to say that my own dice are enshrined in a acrylic mold and I just cannot let him play with them sadly.  So if this fellow ever loses his dice, I sadly cannot help him out.  But that

ok, he can keep rolling his own dice and you never know when this will be to his amusement or to his detriment.

So best of wishes my friend, I deserve a good friend like you of course, but I just can not offer you any dice in life.  Many best wishes.  Indeed.

Milo with the Luxury Apple

I have a colleague who is named Milo and he is very special indeed. He has an apple orchard behind his scuba diving hut that grows Apples that are Luxurious to eat and even hold in your hand. Milo dances often and he wears a turban that is silver with a bald eagle on its face. It is always a good day when I visit Milo although Milo does not always seem to want to talk about Football sadly. He was an Oakland Raiders fan and when they were in Los Angeles, he invested in a million dollars worth of Los Angeles Raiders Gear. Sadly he does not wish to purchase any of the Oakland Raiders Gear now as he feels he can not allot any more money to this sports gear and paraphenalia. Little does Milo know that his Los Angeles Raiders Gear is worth twice as much on the auction circuit, but sadly Milo has yet to discover eBay and he does not enjoy live auctions. I buy an apple every time I visit Milo and it tastes excellent. Milo's orchard is priceless and man from around the kingdom visit Milo evey day just to buy apples. Milo was once a scuba diver but sadly, he has lost his Diving Gear. Thats ok becuase now he likes to race Stock Cars and also he likes to go to Horse Racing Events. Milo makes many people happy and I must say that Milo and I share many days of conversation and recipes for different Apple Pies. If Milo stays in the Scuba Diving Business that is a good thing, but I do hope that he chooses to reinvest in those Oakland Raiders. It would be a shame not to be able to talk about my favorite players and their conquests on the Grid Iron and if I can not discuss Football much with Milo, I may choose to find more apples somewhere else. I just need to express my decisions on what I think about the National Football League and being in a situation where I must hold my lips sealed does not make me feel I am living the real life of Luxury that I so indeed desire. But be concerned not at all, I will most certainly always be a friend of Milo unless he someday refuses to talk about Baseball or Soccer. That's fine with me. Luxury is a necessary evil in this world.

Mobey the Grass Master of Parisian Descent

I have a new friend and he likes being called Mobey.  Mobey runs a Grass Cutting business and he likes to work rain and sun and even will cut a lawn if there is a sprinkle of the white snow too.  This is a good thing because we never know if we forgot to cut our yards in the months of November or December.  But that said I really think that Mobey is interesting in many ways.  He likes to play cards in the morning and he likes to spend days in the lamp shade district of life.  This means that he really enjoys chatting with complete strangers but that he never tips his hat to the unfastened prisoners of the boardroom of life.   I thought he could do a better job cutting grass though.  Last time he cut our yard he missed many spots which fortunately he cut the following week free of charge.  But indeed he is a sophisticated fellow as he speaks French as well as Italian and he even can speak with a Scottish Dialect.

Wimpy Molecule Snatcher Mark

I met a friend once and his name was Mark.  Mark really liked science classes and he was so smart that he could grab ahold of a single molecule and send it sailing through the air and into other molecules and make chain reactions happen just with his own two hands.  Mark really impressed the planet a lot and every child who did not really understand chemistry would stand up and give Mark a standing ovation as he really looked good wearing his orange and blue jumper suit and he really stood high and tall in the face of simple chemical reactions that really did not need to be carried out as they were too simple to be believed at all.  I think that Mark was intelligent but sadly, I must profess that Mark only liked to light his Bunsen burner once a day and only when the teacher was not in the chemistry lab.  That was how he operated.  And if a teacher was to return, Mark could sense this and would turn off his Bunsen burner.  This was quite a game as the teachers did not like Mark since he did not seem to get chemistry being that they never saw him with a lit Bunsen burner.  But that's ok, Mark has gone on to be a stand up comedian and we really think he tells great jokes today.  So if you do meet Mark someday, remember this, he really likes to play with the molecule Helium.  It makes him laugh and if he laughs, we are the more happy, right?