The poetry, stories and intrigues of C.J. Brenner

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Dog Catcher of the Third Kind

I have a friend named Juni-ar and he is a dog catcher.  He works all day and all night and hunts down dogs and even cats from the lost paths they find themselves upon.  Juni-ar is a busy fellow and he likes his work, but sadly, Juni-ar is not quite with the times.  Juni-ar has a chocolate bunny from 1954 that he still carries in his breifcase.  He also has a candy cane from 1986 that still hangs on his kitchen table's centerpiece.  I thought that Juni-ar was very smart when I first met him in 1991, but that was just a facade.  Juni-ar likes to show off his big squirt gun and by doing so many people think that he is a very astute child.  I thought that he was a smart cartoon writer though.  One day Juni-ar wrote a cartoon about feeding the bears that was actually quite funny. Too bad, however, he has not been able to write any other cartoon quite like that first one.  But that said, there is still hope for Juni-ar.  He sees a priest for his ritual needs in life and he asks for atonement once a month from an elephant trainer who is versed in the priestly blessings.   But that is not the end of it yet.  Juni-ar is a baseball player who likes to stare at the ladies when they visit his field.  This is always his preference though he is yet to find one that sends him a cheering section in his name.   I did like Juni-ar but Juni-ar did not seem to like me in the long run.  Juni-ar is writing his memoirs today and he has described me as "gruff and excitable".  That may be but only because I tried to take his candy cane and smash the clearly inedible chocolate bunny with the candy cane once.  I did apologize but sadly, Juni-ar did not accept this even though I was clearly willing to buy him a box filled with both candy canes and new chocolate bunnies that would be clearly edible and I was going to supply him with a few every year to come. 
Thanks for being my friend once upon a time, Juni-ar.  I miss you a bit, but I really worry that you are spending too much time with that priest!  Best Regards!

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