Apple Sauce Licker Steven

I have a friend named Steven. Steven is really a fun guy to get to know. He actually will lick the bowl of his apple sauce that his mother serves for his Christmas Celebration. Glenn Beck thinks that Steven is weird, but I have to tell you that he and Glenn would exist in time and space in the same baseball diamond and never realize that they were both fraternal brothers. Both of them were alcoholics and both of them were really amazed what they could do with Chalkboards. Steven runs a class that he uses a chalkboard to explain to children how to make apple sauce from apples. Glenn Beck explains to the citizens of the United States how the bad people really are bad and how the future is a place for only good people that we must ensure will always out number the bad people. When Glenn Beck has lunch, Steven eats an apple. When Glenn Beck dances with his family, Steven puts an apple on a teachers desk at the school. When Glenn Beck watches cable television, Steven works in his backyard picking dandelions. Steven and Glenn Beck do exactly the same activity each time the other does another activity and they seem to mirror one another in their timing and their consistency to tasks. When Steven farts, Glenn Beck talks about the Marxists. When Glenn Beck talks about the Communists, Steven uses the rest room. When Glenn Beck shows a photograph of Adolf Hitler (yemach shemo), Steven lights a cob of corn on fire. Steven even looks like Glenn Beck from a medical perspective. They both have the same height and weight and they both can run and compete physically at the exact same level. I think that This is a funny story, but the truth is that Glenn Beck and Steven are one in the same just in alternative universes. So if you meet Steven, just nod and say hello. Glenn Beck wont admit that Steven secretly makes Glenn smile, but that is just because Glenn just does not want to share the stage with a fellow that might in fact be his brother from another time and year. Steven, if you are out there, those apples look mighty good, but you really have to stop licking that bowl and just ask for seconds! Thanks Glenn, you showed us the way for a good while. Sadly I must admit I rarely watched except for about 3-4 minutes at a time and I really did not think that the Blackboard ever really made the most sense to me. I just have to say that for a fellow who is a recovering Alcoholic, you are an inspiration to the idea that a man can indeed eat his apple sauce, lick the bowl in life and then come out smelling like a nice but seriously exaggerated guy in life.