Winky Mighty

There once was a man named Winky. He was a Mighty Warrior. Winky liked to fight against elephants and donkeys and he liked to do it with a piece of chalk in his hand. Winky woke up every morning and took out his pen and wrote to the President of the United States and told the president that Winky was up on the president's bad ideas. Winky relished in the idea that he could make all the elephants and donkeys fight to his own tune and he wanted to make sure that each person he met also wanted to dine with the Kings of Spain, France and any Asylum that you might find.

Tyke Toons 3 is here

https://www.createspace.com/3589936



Book three in the series that lampoons the "usual" and discusses the "unusual".

Ticky Tocky Tin Pan Man of Fudgesickle Hallways of Life

I know a saint of the sorts of children you may encounter at the pet store in the mall.  He is understanding and he loves the St. Bernards.  I liked him when I saw him sitting with a book one day.  He was reading at a young age and he liked to play the boat yard circuit in his bathtub.  I think that he normally looks insincere but only when you ask him if he really wanted that fudgesickle that is spread out all over his face.  I call this child DavoBavoBero and he is a winner.   Really.  But don't take his fudgesickle away more than once in his lifetime.  He will let you do it but then you'll get that evil eye the second time you try it.

Odor Eating Messiah

There is a small school child that I met when playing golf that really is a messiah of sorts.  He laughs in a beautiful stream of tones and he smells like grass in a ball park.  This guy is my friend and I hope he lives a good while, right?  So that's that.  If you meet him and his name is really DeNicko, tell him that innings are up and that he ought to go in and clean himself up.  I don't need his ties to be on my camel hump and I don't need his bed pan to be in my dining room either.  So DeNicko, get thee to a job and bake some bagels to take away that odor of the grass stains.  Get me?  Thanks.

Stockholm Binding Marble Eater

There once was a man from Stockholm and he bound books for a living.  He lived like a king but he dined like a fool.  Jeff was his name and he aced algebra with his eye patched on one side.  This was good and Jeff was always an A student.  One day Jeff walked into a basement of his friend's home and beat him in chess.  This left his friend annoyed but quite amazed.  Jeff really never even played chess before in his life and his friend played nightly.  So Jeff had something special and we all really knew that he would get a big head over his true trust in his skills and his intellect.  That said, I sent Jeff a telegram the other day and told him that he might win a free chess set if he bought some marbles for the Prince of Stockholm.  Jeff refused since he actually liked to eat marbles and if he gave them to a Prince, the Prince might not be his friend after seeing that they might have been chewed upon.  So Jeff stayed in the clock tower and threw some marbles that he chewed upon into the streets below thinking that someone might like to see them bounce on the pavement. 
Jeff is exceptional in his money making skills and he owns a yacht and a baseball diamond as well.  The baseball diamond is very special and because of this he only lets the Cincinnati Reds play versus the Pittsburgh Pirates in his diamond. 
So if you ever see my friend who binds books from Stockholm, remind him that he once tasted a marble that did not agree with him and that marble is now on display in the Smithsonian Institution.  I will be there to take photographs and Jeff might like to see that marbles really look good when they are rolling in the football stadiums of life.   Thanks.

Guido of today

There once was a man named guido. And he lived a perfect life. He said hello to the women and children and he even married and had his own family. He never said a mocking word and he never cursed the existence of any given man woman or child.
So Guido makes sense and he lives fine. But that said, don't mess with Guido. He might curse your pocket book or he might curse your hearing. He can curse your happiness and he can curse your wallet. So be good and let Guido be his own man. Thanks.

Cocktail the Pirate Kicker

There once was a man named Cocktail and he drank Pina Coladas.  He worked for the bank and one day he went to Las Vegas.  He was mesmerized by the Pirate Display outside one of the casinos and watched as the pirates went about their daily routine and even as the ship sank into the water.   This was amazing.  He had never seen such a show and never imagined that the world could have such fine entertainment.  So he went into the casino, ordered three Pina Coladas and went out to share them with two of the pirates.  This was a smart move he considered because if he could consort with an actor, he was cool through and through.
That was smart of course, but sadly the pirates were forbidden to drink on the job.  So Coctail whose real name was Paul the Great General told the pirate to stop working and leave the job.  The pirate refused and Paul kicked him swiftly in the head and the gut section.  This was not very smart, but the Pina Coladas made the pirate feel better.   So guess what?  The day ended and the pirates still did their show.  It was ok. Paul only kicked them with slippers on his feet.  And they didn't see it coming and no one knew he kicked them either.  It was as if an invisible foot reached out and kicked the pirate.  But that's ok.  The pirate was not in too much pain over all and his day was not really ruined.  And that Pina Colada that was frozen actually sort of felt good on his face.   But that was a nasty day and Paul never watched the Pirates very much in the future.  It was good to know Paul in life.  He was a Great General and lead a section of Bassoon players into the End Zone of a Football Stadium in the Biloxi Rose Garden in Mississippi.  It was ok with me that Paul was a real live General.  He commanded the troops into battle and they liked that he did not smoke a pipe or a cigar or even a cigarette of course.  Paul was slightly an opera fan, but he never went to see the best operas as he really just liked to watch the pirates do their jazz.
Thanks for your mind of life about eating Filet Mignon Paul.  Its good to be a General and when I command my troops, I'll just think of General Patton instead.