Schmuley where have you been?

Dearest Shmuley of the TV fame
Where is it that you are today?
I search for the best
And I find you among the rest
But of course you are bitter and wry

Words can not describe
Your antipathic sense of diatribe
That book on kosher sex
It is filed among the rest
In the heap on the moon
With a solution for few
And thus I must admit
That the Jews lived for 3000 years or more
And never had to check their deck
For the ounce of self respect
That a fellow like you has lost
In the dogmatic way of cutting cost
So that you can build your ferry
To the other side of the
Blessed
Ocean of
Insanity and Freakishness
That separates you from Heaven
And me from your soul